Logical and Spiritual REFLECTIONS
Book 6.No to Sodom
Chapter 7.Some probable causes
Underlying homosexuality is a basic failure to relate correctly to the commonplace challenge of sex. Long before an “identity problem” arises, the homosexual is simplya failed heterosexual. That is, everyone (each according to his or her gender, of course) is naturally endowed with the same phenomenal feelings (those which drive sexuality), but some people fail to correctly identify the actual orientation of these feelings, or fail to persist in trying to fulfill their manifest demands.
Some people become homosexuals because they were sexually abused as children or adolescents, by older kids or by adults. They feel permanently soiled and incapacitated by these early experiences, and are always ashamed or afraid to face members of the opposite sex as a result. For example, a woman might have been a victim of heterosexual rape as a child, and from then on feared and loathed men, and only felt comfortable with other women. Or again, a man may in his childhood have been abused by a homosexual, and thereafter felt too ashamed of his past misfortune to face women confidently.
Some children and adolescents have premature sexual experiences among themselves, which happen to be homosexual (i.e. could perchance have been heterosexual, had those opportunities presented themselves instead). These kids’ sexual drives are just dawning, and they have no idea what they are all about. They experiment among themselves, especially nowadays when adults make little effort to shield them from bad influences like pornography. In some cases, such children do as adults become homosexual, having become used to or acquired a taste for that particular sort of sexual encounter.
(It is very important to note this observation, for therapeutic purposes: at the root of the self-identification of many homosexuals with their homosexuality lies anobsessiveattachmentto some early sexual experiences, which they erroneously mentally associate with sexual desire and satisfaction in general. They think such attachment is indicative of some sort of natural predilection of theirs, but it is simply an acquired and eliminable inclination. The problem involved is not constitutional, but merely a psychological limitation, a lack of intelligence.)
But this scenario is not the main avenue. A person may begin their quest for a heterosexual partner quite naturally; but, meeting failure after failure in this quest, he or she may end up going in the opposite direction, in the way of a consolation prize or substitute. This may begin tentatively at first – then become a habit and predilection. This sometimes occurs at an older age, even after a lifetime of heterosexuality, when all attractiveness is lost.
It does not matter much where and how the dread of the opposite sex is acquired. It may be due to repeated rejection (for whatever reason, e.g. physical or psychological unattractiveness), or the cause may lie in some parental failure of love or education (causing shyness or inadequacy). Whatever the cause, the biological challenge of making oneself able to find a (suitable) partner for reproduction has not been adequately met, and that’s that. Since the underlying sexual urge, or libido, remains active, even uncontrollably so, the sorry loser looks for another outlet.
Some losers in the mating game opt for masturbation; others for sainthood through abstinence (chastity, celibacy). Some become rapists; some become great artists or sports champions. And some choose homosexuality.
There are of course many other specific ways homosexuality might be adopted. Some people go this route as a life strategy – thinking that they can more easily make their way in life through homosexual seduction, i.e. through same-sex prostitution for economic or social benefits. Another, perhaps most pernicious, road to homosexuality – commonly found today due to the currently popular ideology that it is okay, that it is natural and normal – is to do it willfully, in the way of experiment, for the alleged fun of it. Some people no doubt simply unconsciously drift into it, under the unquestioned influence of their peers or the media.
It is wrong to expect that no negative psychological and existential consequences will ensue from such choices, simply because they were freely made, with a “good conscience” as it were. For it is not the way one enters into such behavior that is its danger, but the inherent nature of the behavior itself. Even if one does not fear it, its dangers remain operative.
One aspect of the homosexual relation that should be noticed is the relation of domination versus submission it often involves, at some level or other, consciously or not, whether the partners are male or female. Such uneven partnerships do admittedly occur in heterosexual relations, too, although male-female combinations are usually complementary. But in the case of homosexual relations, the imbalance is more radical and inevitable, and a “pecking order” is part and parcel of social coexistence between two men or two women.
In homosexuality, because of the anatomical similarity of the partners, one of them must effectively “change sex” (if only behaviorally), to form a “yin-yang” balance. Among males, one of the men must become effeminate, woman-like; among females, one of the women must become masculine, man-like, “butch”. This abject personality change is detrimental to both partners, making them both contradict their true sexual and human identity. They all become something less than male or female, and thus something no longer quite human.
In other words, it is not some sort of original sexual identity problem that leads to homosexuality; rather, it is homosexuality that generates profound sexual identity problems. Such transformations and doubts are bound to cause deep and lasting suffering in the people concerned. They simply cannot be expected to be without effect and painless.
Some take such childish explorations even more literally and become pedophiles, forever trying to recapture their sharp childhood sexual feelings. Of course, not all pedophiles are homosexuals. But it is no accident that the old (less “politically correct”) word for homosexual was “pederast” (from a Greek word meaning ‘lover of boys’). Of course, not all homosexuals are male – the yearning to revert to childhood is often found in females, too. Note that pedophilia is not limited to dirty old men or women – pedophiles are often quite young, in their twenties or thirties. In the latter cases, of course, we cannot talk of a return to childhood, but must rather call it arrested development: they never left childhood, i.e. their mental age did not follow their physical age.
Some observers suggest that homosexuality, whether male or female, is often due to the father being overly passive or absent, and the mother being too old or domineering. But it must be stressed that such “environmental” causes cannot be regarded asdetermininghomosexuality. Since homosexuals are human beings, they have freewill. Environmental factors (like family problems or social context) can onlystrongly influencebehavior, but the victim is still free to resist the pressure of these influences and go his or her own way. There is no excuse, no genuine justification, in the reference to such external factors. However powerful their psychological impact, human dignity remains possible.